Q: My son received many gifts for his recent bar mitzvah, but he’s so busy with school that he can’t get this thank-you notes written. Now Crystal Marie, I know what you are going to say, “Handwritten notes are the best!” However, since his father and I gave the party, would it be all right for me to write the notes?
A: Thank you for asking for my 5 cents even though I don’t have kids..lol. Here’s what I think. You can help by seeing that he has the proper addresses, thank you cards, pens and stamps but I think writing out the thank you’s should be your son’s responsibilities. He is at a proper age where he can write a quick little thank you to guests who took the TIME and spent the MONEY to select the right gift for such an important occasion. Since a Bar Mitzvah is known as the coming of age ceremony for young Jewish males, what better way to put this responsibility on him. Since he has a busy schedule (honestly we are all busy), have him write three or four notes everyday before he starts his homework or after any after school activities he might have. Just don’t let him fall back on thanking people. Believe me people will remember that they didn’t get any type of thank you. A handwritten note goes along way. I am still waiting on a thank you card from a wedding 6 years ago
Q: I made a total A*% of myself during my best friend’s wedding last weekend. I was the Maid of Honor and I had one to many drinks. I mentioned some things in the maid of honor speech that I shouldn’t have said and my friend will probably not speak to me. I haven’t spoken to her since because she was on her honeymoon but now she is back and I am ready to make amends? What should I do?
A: Oh boy..you tried it! One thing I can say is that at least you are owning what you did and want to make amends. Your friend’s husband may never raise the subject to you however, your girl might have given him an ear full after the fact and he’s irritated with you as well. It’s up to you to own your actions. It’s best to make amends in person, if you can. A thoughtful gift with a handwritten note including a hearfelt apology, made WITHOUT excuses (after all, YOU drank the champagne), MIGHT earn her forgiveness. Your friendship may require some extra-special nurturing for a while, but isn’t it worth it for your best friend? Also, if she had a wedding planner you put her in a very awkward spot as well..I would have motioned for the DJ to cut you off with some great transition music to keep the party going with a #sorrynotsorry look on my face. What’s done is done but know your limits, hopefully you won’t lose your best friend over this.